Just Pondering

Just sitting today and thinking about so many things I have been taught in the charismatic circle that I am not sure I believe were truth anymore. If it is God's will for everyone to be healed, why isn't everyone healed? How do you explain children who die? If it has to do with faith, why have I seen so many people who believe with all their heart God will heal them not be healed? Why does He allow people to be in so much pain they can hardly breathe and not bring relief? Why do we spend all of our lives praying away death when we all know that one day we will die. No matter how many times you may get healed, you will die. Don't get me wrong, I know God does heal and I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt He can heal, but it is always His will to heal? I am beginning to think not. Sometimes it just isn't His plan for reason I don't think we can comprehend. I have read story after story about evangelist and faith healers who have all died at an early age because they pushed themselves so hard. I think perhaps we put too much emphasis on this earth and forget this Is not our home. How can you tell someone whose family member died of cancer, especially a baby that they just didn't have enough faith? I think that Is bull. What I do know is that God loves us and His heart is always for our good and sometimes maybe that means healing and sometimes maybe that means heaven. Anyway, just pondering today.